December 29th, 1966 was a very cold and frosty morning in Birchwood, Tennessee. We had just celebrated Christmas a few days before and my brother and I wanted to go hunting with Dad. We loved our Beagles, Frank, Jack and Jill. They were absolutely some of the finest hunting dogs you could ever hope for. Against mom’s advice (it was really cold), Dad woke us up anyway to take me and Randy rabbit hunting. Who would have known that the events that transpired that day would forever change our lives?
Because of the winter cold, Randy and I went to the car to warm up. Once we had thawed out, we grabbed our shotguns and began walking back to the field were the dogs were catching the scent of a rabbit. It was then that I remember noticing that the hammer on my .410 shotgun was pulled back and ready to fire. Without hesitation, I did what Dad had taught us to do in order to release it back to safety without firing. However, in the process of that action, my thumb slipped off the hammer and fired. The barrel of the gun happened to be pointed directly at Randy and the blast killed him instantly. I was 8 years old and the youngest of three siblings. Randy was only 10 when he died. Immediately, frantically and in a great state of panic, I screamed for Dad. I saw him step out from a wooded area and into a sage grass field. Once he caught a glimpse of what had happened, Dad ran to me and took me away from the scene. Albert Wilson, a friend of Dad’s was hunting with us that day. Dad asked him to cover Randy’s body and wait for the ambulance. We buried Randy December 31, 1966.
I have never been one to hold to the belief that “time heals all things.” I believe that true healing rests in the hands of God, not in the hands of a clock. My scar is deep, large, heavy and invisible to the human eye. This message is to anyone who like me, must walk through life with an invisible scar.
My scar teaches me that I am imperfect and in desperate need of forgiveness. The hardest person you will ever have to forgive is you! You see, the 6th grade class at Meadowview Elementary lost a classmate; my sister Teresa lost a brother; and my parents lost a son all because of me. Satan likes to remind me of that from time to time and he uses something I call “triggers” to remind me of my mistake. Some of my triggers are cold frosty mornings, beagles, sage grass fields, .410 shotguns and the song Winchester Cathedral. My loving family never needed my apology or placed any blame upon me. They immediately moved in to protection mode and loved me through this tragedy. I was the one that needed to forgive me. Guilt and shame are two terrible burdens to have to carry in life and if you allow them, they will rob you of your joy. But thank God, there is ONE who is very capable of carrying the burdens of our past! In Christ, you can “lay aside every weight” (Hebrews 12:1) and “cast all you care upon Him; for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).
My scar is a sign to me that I have the ability to be healed. The very fact that you have a scar is your body’s way of telling you that the wound has been closed and healing has transpired. Whether our wounds are physical or emotional, we have the ability to heal. Man has his limits. All of the King’s horses and all of the King’s men couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again. Yet, where the skill of man ends, God is just getting started. When Tabitha expired (see Acts 8:36 – 41), skill was at its apex. Man had done all he knew to do. But Peter knew where to pick up where man left off. When he prayed the prayer of faith, Tabitha arose! There is nothing that can come your way too difficult for God to heal.
My scar did not have the final say on my future. Scars cannot dictate to me where I am going; they can only tell me where I have been. They do not have the final word. Even after all of these years, I still recall that terrible day in 1966. Healing does not equate to a loss of memory. No matter where I go or what I do, there is the scar to remind me of the path that I once traveled. In many ways, scars are like a diary of your life; a reminder of that accident, miscarriage or abuse that you once suffered. None of us can escape our past violations, mistakes, setbacks or tragedies. They become a part of our story and mold us into the person that we are today. What Satan wants to destroy you with, God will use to work out for your good (Romans 8:28).
My scar is a testimony to others. Scars tell others that we made it through the storm. It is perfectly alright to allow others to see your scars. When Jesus rose from the dead, there was joy among Mary and the disciples; but there was one that needed to see more than the face of Jesus (see John 20:24 – 29). Thomas desperately needed to see His scars! He couldn’t believe until he saw the scars in Jesus’ hand and side. Certainly, Jesus told him that there would be those who must believe without seeing and feeling, but friends, there are people today who still need to see the scars. They need to hear your testimony because it is proof positive that God is real, active, involved and caring for His children. Thank God for those who can believe without seeing; but there are some today that will not believe until they hear your story and see your scars. They need to identify with the fact that you have made it through and the scars that you bear now become a vehicle for someone else’s healing. You’ve got to redeem your pain. You’ve got to use your experiences to help other people. That’s called ministry. God meant for us to help each other. If you will allow Him, God can use your pain for good. In 2 Corinthians 1:4, Paul says “God comforts us every time we have trouble so when others have trouble we can comfort them with the same comfort that God has given to us.”
For healing to be Divine, it must cover all aspects of healing for your life. For God not to be able to heal both the physical and the emotional wounds would disqualify Him from being God. Divine purpose can come from the most difficult times in your life. Paul said in Galatians 6:17, “From now on let no one trouble me, for I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus.” Paul had a lot of scars. Literally, he had hundreds of stripes on his body; three times beaten with rods; stoned by an angry mob; suffered shipwreck; yet none of these scars detoured his destiny. His scars only prepared him for the work that God had called him to do. Today, I am happy to testify to the fact that I am healed and can use my story as a message of hope to those who are hurting today. You can be set free today. Thank God I am free!